Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
its not stalking. its research.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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