i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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