I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
My feet surprised me
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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