why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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