I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
