there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
