careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
