Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
