Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
