Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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