Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We were destined to go to rehab together
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
