THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
