If i come over, it means nothing
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
