we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
