I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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