dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
