Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
