It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
