is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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