ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
