He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
