Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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