David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
