I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
