I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
