Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
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