Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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