someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
