Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
