I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
