dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
How external is "for external use only"?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
