yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
