I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
