hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
