I wish they made helmets for livers.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
