is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
