I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
