I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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