My pussy is not your playground.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
