I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
