Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
