I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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