Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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