She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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