Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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