11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
