My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just forgot I was standing up.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
