Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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