is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
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