whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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