FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
