Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
